Random Thoughts from an Awkward INFJ

I started composing this on my phone one random afternoon, but decided to transfer and continue it on my laptop so I could write it better!

I always grew up as an awkward kid. Some people say I got it from my mom, who does have her awkward tendencies, but it was something I never grew out of, which used to make me a little insecure (on top of all the other things that made me insecure—like my weight when I was in college, and my oily skin, for example). Eventually, it was something I learned to embrace, especially because I’d like to think being awkward is my specialty, and that my family and good friends love me for it anyway. It especially comes out when I’m placed outside of my comfort zone, like being at an event or meeting new people—which happens frequently, considering the industry I’m in. I just try my best not to overthink the situation, otherwise I’d end up a stuttering mess.

It’s a little ironic that I work in an industry where I’m constantly forced to step out of my shell. As an INFJ (which apparently is the rarest of the Myers-Briggs personalities, because we take up less than 1% of the world population), it takes so much of my energy to talk to people. It really does. Which is why I need my alone time—either having coffee or wine by myself, staying cooped up in my woman cave in the attic where no one can bother me, or plugging in my earphones at work to zone out for a bit. And it’s not about being snobby or anti-social. It’s really just my way of recharging myself to face another day of meeting or talking to people.

“The INFJ, or the Advocate, has an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait. They are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.”

“From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know INFJs, as they are very private, even enigmatic. INFJs don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for INFJ friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them.”

“When it comes to romantic relationships, INFJs take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters, people with the INFJ personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships. INFJs will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with—once they’ve found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of.”

“INFJs have pretty tall demands when it comes to a satisfying work environment. Not only does this personality type need to be able to express their creativity and insight, INFJs need to know that what they are doing has meaning, helps people, leads to personal growth and, all the while, is in line with their values, principles and beliefs.”

“As managers, INFJs are often reluctant in exercising their authority, preferring to see their subordinates as equals, coordinating and supervising people, leaving the technical systems and factual details to more capable hands, and working hard to inspire and motivate, not to crack the whip. That’s not to say that people with the INFJ personality type have lax standards—far from it—as INFJs’ sense of equality means that they expect their subordinates to be as competent, motivated, and reliable as the INFJs themselves.”

“Few personality types are as passionate and mysterious as INFJs. Your imagination and empathy make you someone who not only cherishes their integrity and deeply held principles but, unlike many other idealistic types, is also capable of turning those ideals into plans, and executing them. Yet INFJs can be easily tripped up in areas where their idealism and determination are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is navigating interpersonal conflicts, confronting unpleasant facts, pursuing self-realization, or finding a career path that aligns well with your inner core, you may face numerous challenges that at times can even make you question who you really are.”

Reading all these insights from 16personalities.com were so intriguing, because I couldn’t help but say, “This is so me,” after every paragraph.

I remember taking the Myers-Briggs personality test in college and getting the same result—INFJ. They say your personality tends to change through time, which I do believe, because when I was in grade school and high school in Poveda, I wasn’t as introverted compared to when I got to college. Somewhere in between studying in UP Diliman for a couple of years before moving to Ateneo, my personality changed. I become more reclusive, I never joined any school organizations, I was totally okay with not making any friends (including my block mates), and I preferred spending my breaks sleeping inside the car or library.

When I started working in the corporate world while writing for the blog on the side, I started getting immersed in new environments (some of which I wasn’t so comfortable with at first). I’d like to think I learned and grew more from these experiences—which would eventually change my personality type. But as it turns out, I’m still an INFJ, and being one is totally okay with me—it makes me proud even. In fact, knowing and reading about my personality type has helped me understand myself better, which in turn made me understand how to take care of myself better.

Supposedly, my strengths include being creative, insightful, inspiring, passionate, and altruistic. The downside, however, is that I’m sensitive, extremely private, a perfectionist, I always need to have a cause, and I can burn out easily. And these are traits I’m constantly trying to work on, because I know that things don’t always go the way you plan them, and when I over-invest myself in something and don’t get the results I want, I burn out right away.

I don’t know what sparked me to write this post. Maybe it’s because I’m more drained than usual lately, and this is my way of reminding myself to stop and breathe.