Random Emo Rants: I Miss Playing Ultimate

I miss playing disc. I really, really do.

I think it’s been five months since I last played Ultimate—Philippine Ultimate Little League 2013 to be exact, where I played with Eunos (We placed 1st in Pool A! Hooray!). That’s going to be my last PULL too since I’m not so “little” anymore.

Philippine Ultimate Little League 2013

Photos Grabbed from Mela Abesamis

I had to skip the rest of Monsoon League 2013, Manila Spirits 2013, and now I’m missing the first weekend of New Year’s League 2014.

Disc is a huge part of my life. (You can also read more about my love for the sport here.) I’ve been playing it since high school, and have been addicted to it ever since. I started out with Xavier Ultimate, joined Alabang Disc Devils for a while after I graduated, formed Shawarma Club and Justice League, got adopted by the Gardeners, played with Sprockets for a couple of tournaments, and now I’m with K3.

I miss disc so much that I dream about it at least once a week.

The reason I haven’t been playing is because my asthma came back with a vengeance last August. My last attack was when I was in second year high school, and that time I just had to rest a bit. But for some reason, my asthma this time is worse–that I was forced to stop all physical activities (no jogging, no yoga, no swimming, no nothing) until my lungs fully recover.

When my asthma returned, even the smallest things triggered my attacks. I couldn’t walk too far because I got tired. The slightest bit of stress gave me a hard time. And even a hint of cigarette smoke made me grab my rescue inhaler. It was so bad. Sometimes, I would think it’s psychological. Cupcake wasn’t allowed to smoke anymore whenever he was with me (and he’s slowly trying to quit). I even had to be transferred to a different desk in the office because my seatmate was a smoker and would leave me dizzy whenever she came back from her yosi break.

I’ve been visiting my pulmonologist frequently and was required to take the Pulmonary Function Test (a couple of months ago), which I failed. So until I’m cleared by my doctor, I’m not allowed to do anything sports or fitness-related. I get panic attacks, too. I don’t really know what triggers it, but there are times my hands start to shake, and I can’t breathe, and my eyes are all watery—and it’s something I try to control but just can’t.

It’s scary.

My mom wants to get a second opinion soon, so I’m hoping that gets scheduled before the second and third day of New Year’s League on February.

On the brighter side, not playing disc shifted my attention to other positive things like this blog, which has grown so much since it was officially launched last September 2013. The Cupcake and I also started a small sideline business, which we’re also hoping to expand this 2014. Lastly, I guess not playing disc has brought me even closer to my family since I’ve been spending more time with them during the weekends (to compensate for the times I don’t see them on weekdays due to work). So yeah, I guess it has its upsides.

I’m feeling a little emo. I guess I just had to express how much I miss my teammates and playing disc. Still thankful for the Cupcake who always tries to make things much easier for me.